TRUSTING GOD'S TIMING EVEN DURING THE HOLIDAYS

The Lord has placed this area on my heart so heavy so I was compelled to blog about it. So for me Thanksgiving and Christmas are my absolute favorite holidays. Tons of food, family, music, and memories. We laugh, eat, and cry as we reflect on where the Lord has brought us from. In my family my grandma won't let us touch a piece of food until everyone has said what their thankful for( It's about fifty of us lol) and pray. As much as I love being with my family and our traditions, It was a super scary time for me. Seeing how I'm the oldest granddaughter, twenty seven, unmarried, and no children. I felt the pressure of it all annually as aunts and uncles would say " Dang girl you getting up there, where them babies or a husband"? I'd smile and grin as my heart sank into my feet, as if I needed a reminder. When I first gave my life to Christ for real and began to abstain this was a constant hurt for me as I watched cousin's burp newborns, share pregnancy announcements, as well as being introduced to new boyfriends, and blinged out left hands.The pain would sing me songs over and over again on my heart's jukebox. I would count down the days until I go back home in my safe environment. After one of my Thanksgiving trips I began to pour out my heart to God. I told him how  bitterness was trying to take over my life concerning those issues. I asked the Holy Spirit to help me but also to be my comforter. He instructed me to go to Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord. They are plans of good and not disaster, to give you hope and a future.(NLT) So here I am like okay God if you have plans for me of good things why am I miserable? Why am I hurting? Why do I feel like I'm not enough? I wrestled with these feelings for days after my trip. I continued to cry daily but I keep referring back to Jeremiah 29:11. After about two weeks of meditating on that scripture daily it hit me............. Do I really trust God? Or am I programmed to say I trust Him? The honest gut wrenching truth was that I didn't. I trusted Him with some stuff but not every aspect of my life. I didn't allow God to reign in my life. While trusting God you have to give Him every part of you, He is concerned with every detail of your life. Here's the huge one...... While trusting God we have to also trust His timing. As much as I wanted marriage and things I saw around me, I had to trust that in His perfect timing those things would come because he placed the desire on the inside of me. God is our father and a parent wouldn't give a child anything prematurely that could possibly ruin them. Would a parent buy a car for a five year old? No because they aren't ready. They could injure themselves or even die. Those are all possibilities for us when we don't wait on God and we connect to the wrong people. So trust Him! Secondly REST!!!! This one here is so important ladies! Rest in God and who He is making you to be. If I be real this was a tough area for me and I struggled with it for some time. The man God has for you is designed just for you. You won't have to do anything to get him. You won't have to sleep with him, dress to show your body or fight to prove your worth to him. With every hurt, disappointment, and heartbreak, God is preparing you to be a wife. In the book of Genesis chapter two around verse 21 God puts Adam in a deep sleep. While he was sleeping God took one of his ribs to crete woman which was named Eve. Do you see the beauty in that? Eve didn't have to do anything. She allowed God to prepare her first. She trusted the creator to create her into a wife suitable for Adam. So maybe your Adam is sleeping and that's okay. God put him to sleep to work on him. Allow the father to develop you during this time so when He makes the beautiful presentation of you to your Adam you'll be ready. It's my prayer thats you hold firm to the principles and promises of God. Also to love on your family during the holidays..................  Love y'all and God bless.

How To Hold On To Your Purity: Christ Is Our Anchor 



It's been so long since I've blogged and I really missed sharing my heart with you guys. While away God allowed me to share my story with a few women. While with these ladies, The number one question I was asked was how? How do I hold on? How have I made it this far? I began to pray that the Holy Spirit would give me the right words to say and guide my tongue so I could bring glory to His name. Today I'll share the answers the Lord gave me with you.  1. Spend time with God daily!  If you take nothing else from this blog post please understand this is number one. When we spend time with Him daily, we are allowing His Spirit to come in and fill us. While in consecration with God, He shows us our hearts and bring correction in all areas. Also while spending time with God He teaches us and change our hearts. We swap our selfish desires and our will, and we began to desire what He wants for us and nothing else.  2. Godly Accountability: Godly counsel is so vital to your walk of purity because they help us stay focused. Proverbs 27:17  As iron sharpens iron, So a friend sharpens a friend.  Simply Put when you're down or wanting to give up God graces us with a spiritual brother or sister to lift us up. Godly accountability correct us with the Word of God but also walks with us and pray us through it. They go to God for us and  intercede on our behalf. This year I took some hard blows and wanted to completely give up! I was done with purity and all it had to offer!! Right in that moment God sent my sisters Shadawn, Taira, and Monique to not only pray for me, but fast for me ......That's love ya'll lol.    3. Stay focused on the bigger picture: Romans 5:8 But God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.  Jesus laid down his life for us and in return we must live for him. We were created to serve God. We must remember purity is a act of service to the Lord. We must present our bodies as a living sacrifice unto the Lord. Also we have to remind ourselves that singleness is only for a season, we can't give up or rush God to the alter. We have to rest in his perfect timing and trust that he knows what's best for us. He created us and know us inside out, he protects us for our own selves. If He blesses us prematurely we'll ruin it. I pray during your journey you learn to depend on God for EVERYTHING.... He's our strength  

My Voyage/Roadmap To Purity

In a previous post I've shared with you parts of my testimony and my destination to purity, But I left out the journey to get to the point of sexual purity. I want to take you on a trip with me as we explore my quest for sexual freedom. These five steps were critical in breaking the chains that had me bound. 1. Repent: I know as believers of the body of Christ we often hear this word but we never grasp the weight this word carries. When we repent it's not about us crying to God telling Him how sorry we are, And we'll never do it again and turn right around and commit the same sin. True repentance comes when we not only cry out to God asking for forgiveness, But began to despise the very sin we were in. We began to hate the sin He hates. True repentance comes when we change our thoughts and desires to His and our hearts transforms more like his. We show true change when we completely stop the sin.   2. Cut of all soul tie: For me I think this was the hardest steps. Once we've opened ourselves to sexual sin we become attached to these people without really understanding why. Our souls have connected with them on a much deeper level then just a regular person. This goes back to why God designed sex for marriage. He wants us to feel thats closeness with our spouse and no one else. We as sinners deviated  from the plan and caused so much heartache and confusion on ourselves because we are connecting with all kinds of spirits God hasn't ordained. Although we've messed up, The good news is Jesus Christ came to conquer all of that. To be free from soul ties we must pray for deliverance and ask Him to remove them, Secondly cut off all communication with these people. Text messages, Phone calls, Emails, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Where ever you have them. I know it seems a bit over the top but its absolutely necessary. If you leave these doors open you give them free reign to come back in your life, Bring up old memories of all the fun you guys had, And cause you to slip back into sin. Don't give the devil and lead way or open doors to cause you to disobey God's instructions. No one should have that much power over you.  3. Change my circle of friends: I know many of us have friends that we love as family members. Some of the most giving, caring, and loving people, But how do they influence us? Do they plant seeds in our hearts which causes us to sin, Or be more relaxed in our walk with Jesus? I had a friend that I loved with all my heart! She was loving, Caring, And always giving without expecting in return. Just a genuine person, but living for God was so far from her mind. When together all we did was shop, club, drink, and met men. I knew she wasn't good for me but she was my girl and I loved her. As time went on I got really tired of that life and wanted no parts of it. I started praying asking God to give me a way out of the friendship without hurting her. The more I prayed He began to remove her little by little  until the friendship was non existent. As followers of Christ we need accountability partners. Accountability Partners reminds us of the pack we made with God and won't let us give up. They give us the Word of God even if it hurt us, They don't pacify our feelings but tell us whats right from wrong. Our spiritual growth is more important to them than our feelings. They push us to greatness, and all God has called us to be. Our accountability partners cover us in prayer constantly, but also pray with us. We are able to have good clean fun that is still glorifying to God. If you don't have this kind of person around you need to reevaluate your circle.  4. Change the type of music, movies, and books we allow: Ok so this one was a huge one for  me but I think it was the most imperative to the process. I absolutely love music, It's something I can't imagine life without. R&B and Neo soul just does something to my heart like seriously lol. As I began to find my purity I would pray and fast often to help me come out but I couldn't figure out why I would fall or couldn't change my thoughts about sexual things. One day while reading the Bible The Lord led me to Proverbs 4:23 " Above all else guard your heart, for out of it the issues of life flow" At that moment I understood why I was still struggling. I failed at guarding my heart with my music. The music was planting bad seeds in my heart and my mind watered them. This is where my thoughts stemmed from and took my mind back to a place where I did those things talked about in the song. Maybe music isn't a big deal for you like it is for me, but what ever it is causing you to fall shut it down immediately!!! Satan isn't playing so don't play with him. He's out to steal, kill, and destroy us as believers. If he can control us with sexual sin he knows he can delay us from our purpose God has given us. It's a cycle that repeats it's self. We sin, feel bad, satan makes us feel unworthy to approach God, we stop praying, and before you know it years have passed by and we're still in the same place struggling with finding our purpose. Satan knows if he can distract you from praying he can keep us bound. It's not worth aborting your purpose for instant gratification.  5. Rely on His strength not your own: During my quest this was a step that honestly had to be learned. After a few months after abstaining I thought I had it down to a science. I felt like I was on top of the world and out of the clear, which was so far from the truth. I started back dating but this time sex was completely moved out of the equation. I would go to dinner, catch a movie, just a lot of activities thats required us to be close with one another. I found myself back with these sexual feelings and thoughts. I felt like I was going to fail God all over again. I couldn't figure out why this was happening to me, I thought I'd beat this thing! I began to cry out to The Lord asking Him for help. At that moment He spoke to me and said" My strength is made perfect in your weakness". He became my help not just a God I prayed to. Our relationship became interactive. I came to the conclusion that He is present help when we need it but, we have to ask for it and rely solely on Him and not our own abilities. Our own abilities fail us every time. As I sought after his strength he began to set new standards for the types of dates I went on. No activities where it required us to be close and affectionate. See when He becomes your helper He gives you wisdom which allows you not to put yourself in certain situations. He always gives us a way out!!!

Girl pick up your crown; It's falling

When we think of the word crown, we automatically associate it with a beauty pageant winner, A queen, or somebody of royalty and social class. We see them dripped in diamonds, pearls, fine linens, and the nicest of things and we immediately respect them. Now we see a woman wearing high waisted shorts, a crop top, and heels, and we treat her totally different! With Ms. Crop top, we approach her differently, talk to her differently, and we even switch our reverence for her. I know you're thinking " Ok Bianca I'm not in a beauty pageant, and this isn't Coming to America, Nobody walks around in a crown all day". My sister I come to serve you notice,whether you believe it or not you wear one everyday. Proverbs 12:4 says " A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay to his bones" Sis I hear you " Girl I'm not married yet my Adam is still asleep being made for me" Ummmm............. Ma'am yes you are!! Isaiah 54:5 clearly states " For your maker is your husband The Lord Almighty. So let's put things into perspective for a minute. Now that we know Jesus is our husband, What have our crowns been saying about us? Do we dress for attention, Likes on Instagram, Or approval from others. How do others treat us? Our dress code set the tone for the level of respect we demand, But also how we view ourselves. When a man see's us half naked his mind automatically go to sex with us. He can't even see our character to desire to truly pursue us, Let alone court and marry us. We've blinded him with our physical jewels and who we are on the inside won't  matter. From there his level of respect for us has decreased because we don't respect ourselves. There was a time in my life I wanted to wear everything short, tight, and skimpy. I was so broken on the inside until it seeped out in my attire. I sought validation from men with my tight clothes. In our earthly marriages we are willing to respect our husband's headship, we honor him, and we want to bring him a good name. So why is it in our marriage with Christ we don't do the same? We wear what we want, act how we want, and just do us. Do you know the type of honor it is to be his crown? We represent him everywhere we go. I know we all like to look fly and trendy, I understand because I love fashion. In our clothing choices we have to think about if we're honoring God, also are we honoring our future husbands with our attire. Men are very territorial, no man wants a woman willing to share her treasures with the world. I challenge you to step into you rightful position as the crown and bring honor to your heavenly husband. Let's honor his headship and dress with class, dignity, and grace. By no means Am I telling you to dress like Dorothy, Blanche, Rose, and Sophia, But when people see us they should see our crowns and treat us accordingly. We are royalty honey!!!! Our husband is the man Lol , and we were brought with a price( Jesus's Blood) Let us find our worth, value, and standard in Christ alone. Once we do our dress code will line up with what He says about us, and how we view ourselves will change. Let's begin to adjust our crowns, and polish them with the love of Jesus.

The Repeat Offender :My Testimony

Have you ever been in a church service where the spirit was high, The pastor is preaching the truth and convicting that sin you've been struggling with for so long? With tears in your eyes you make your way to the alter and plead with God. You ask him for forgiveness, you make a deal with Him that last night was the last time for real this time. The message is over and you're back at home, that high you felt at church is now gone. You find yourself back at square one struggling with this same sin again. Sadly this was my relationship with God for years as I played Russian Roulette with my life. Let me walk you through my journey to help you understand what I mean. As a little girl I grew up in the church. I gave my life to The Lord at the age of six, but gosh I really didn't know what that  meant. I actively served in my church's youth ministry, doing any and every activity they had to offer. I was on fire for God!! Now here I am in Middle school and that fire I once felt is beginning to burn out. I wanted less of church and more of my friends, music, and whatever else. Church became so boring now. I felt like Eve in the Garden. I now recognized good and evil. The shield my parents once kept me in is now gone. Fast forward to eight grade, Here I am fully developed and feeling like a woman. My baby weight is now gone, My face has matured, and my innocence went right out the window. Guys are beginning to notice me and it kinda feels good. I found myself in the company of a much older guy and on cloud nine. I began to do things out of my character and my upbringing. I began to lie to my parents, sneak on the phone to talk to him. Before I knew it I found myself in his bed doing big girl things. My purity was stripped from me. The sweet little girl I once knew was gone so far from me. Here I am still a baby and developed my first soul tie and the spirit of fornication had attached it's self to me. See when we open ourselves up to unholy things, and don't guard our hearts, these spirits cling to us. After this sexual encounter I completely changed, I was no longer the sweet young church girl. I was moody, angry, just down right mean. At the time I was too young to realize these weren't my character traits but those of all the women he had been with prior (soul ties). In this moment I began to beg God to wash me from my sins. This my sisters is where I became a repeat offender of the alter. I was so far from God, I couldn't even hear Him speak anymore. My desire to be filled by him was gone out the window. Instead I was full of lust, sexual music, and sin. Daily I played nothing but music talking about sex and had sexual conversations. I was a mess ya'll. One day after he got all he wanted he dropped me and didn't look back. Here I am thirteen with a broken heart, all kind of spirits, and oceans away from God. I was mad, hurt, and lonely. I only had myself to blame. I did an adult act expecting kiddie consequences. This was the real deal. Now I needed someone new to take away this pain( so I thought), and to feed this lust that had been breeding in me. Once again I found myself in bed with another man who didn't pay the price for me (marriage). Only this time it was different! The shame I once felt was gone, I enjoyed it and wanted more of  it. I continued to give this man more and more of me. I looked in the mirror and didn't even know who I was. Fourteen, two soul ties, and all confused. I developed self esteem issues and settled for any kind of man. See when we do things out of God's will it comes with a price to pay!! Boy oh boy did I pay with heart break after heart break. God shields us from those things by designing sex for marriage. God loves us and wants to protect us just like any good parent. I played this game with God for years. Feed my flesh, feel so low and dirty, and run to the alter for him to fix me. I wanted a microwave fix from God and not a true relationship. I wanted his power when I wanted it, but denied his power to make me live a holy life. So here I am in my early adult years and I'm tore up!!! Going to church but doing me, self esteem in the ground, have no standard for the type of man I wanted, and still at this same alter. Until one day I was praying so hard to The Lord. This time was different for me, I was at the feet of Jesus. I began to tell him all the ugliness in my heart. The hurt, pain, lust, just everything. I laid it at His feet for hours and cried out to Him for real this time. I opened my Bible and He led me to Revelations 3:15-16  " I know your deeds that you are neither cold or hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm-neither hot nor cold- I am about to spit you out of my mouth. This shook my entire being. I didn't want God to turn His back on me. This time I stopped playing church and repented with a sincere heart. From that day on I relied on the Holy Spirit to help me walk upright and run whole heartily after Jesus Christ. Finding my purity again has been the best decision of my life. So today I challenge you to stop being a repeat offender and surrender everything unto The Lord....... He's waiting